3 Tips for Navigating an Unequally Yoked Marriage
- By: Jane
Has the faith of your husband or wife ever made you feel a sense of doubt towards them? Has it ever made you question their faith in salvation? Have you found yourself wondering why your spouse seems to be so much against some spiritual ideologies? Have you gone on your knees in tears begging God to help your spouse grow up and become a person with an authentic faith, even to the extent of being a spiritual leader and be a good role model to your children?
Today, we are here to hold hands with you to help many families achieve unity in their families, whether it is facing the harshest turbulence or if you are sensing trouble times ahead. Our focus today is unequally yoked marriage.
is an unequally yoked marriage?
If you have found yourself browsing for “what is an unequally yoked marriage?” the chances are that you are in one, or you know someone who is in one.
Being unequally yoked is having religious ideologies and beliefs that are not the same. Who does not have a different livelihood and beliefs from their spouse? As simple as it may sound, the seriousness of the issues comes in when you have different core beliefs and values.
does the bible say about being unequally yoked?
The bible has addressed the issue of being unequally yoked in different books and verses.
I Corinthians 6:15 (NIV) says that “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the member of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!”
This scripture is very clear. When you are a Christian who believes in God and Jesus Christ, it means that your body belongs to Jesus, and therefore, you should never associate with non-believers like prostitutes. However, it does not means that Christians are not supposed to know any unbelievers, but you are not supposed to be close to them.
It would be best if you did not have close friends who are non-believers. You should also avoid turning to non-believers for advice, and since marriage means that you and your spouse need to be a team, you should also refrain from having a partner who is a non-believer.
This verse or passage is not speaking about unequally yoked marriage, but God does speak to marriage later on, and we’ll look at that as well.
Another scripture says this if you are married to a non-believer.
“If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to stay with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband;
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances. God has called us to leave in peace.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 NIV
Here you see that God does not see it as a sin to marry or to get married to an unbeliever.
However, it can get hard if the unbeliever is unwilling to walk out of the marriage and live you in peace. Therefore, as much as it is okay, it is not okay, so you should be cautious when planning to enter into an unyoked marriage.
If your unbelieving spouse wants to walk out of the marriage, let them walk, God says.
If the partner wants to stay and works towards seeing the marriage work, let them stay, and stay as well and see the miracles that God can do!
for navigating an unequally yoked marriage
Here are the tips for navigating an unequally yoked marriage.
Have a mutual ground and develop from it
Ask your partner if he feels it is right to uphold respect for each other. Here he should pay attention to the word respect. Let him tell you whether he feels it is proper to engage sex in marriage. Again here, you will have his attention.
Enquire if he can keep up for you two to be kind to each other
If your husband says no to all these questions that form the basis of all marital relationships, let him tell you why he is still holding to the marriage. Let him tell you why he hasn’t walked out on you. Is marriage without respect, love, full of conflicts and lack of physical intimacy the kind of union he wants to have for the rest of his life?
Your intention is not to look for a source of disagreement in this case. You are basically looking for answers to get to know his intentions better. You are being a friend to him to get to know the kind of union he wants.
After you know his intentions, assuming he said yes to all the questions. Build on those basic principles; respect, kindness, and sex. When you are in a heated argument, ask questions politely.
Remind him that you should both respect and show kindness to each other. Then start over the argument in a better manner.
Let me remind you that “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 NIV
The scripture says that “If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals of shame on their heads, and the LORD will reward you. Prov. 25:21, 22
To make an unequally unyoked marriage work, ensure that you do not treat your husband as an enemy. He is not. According to God, you are one flesh and not enemies.
During an argument, you can try and start stripping off your clothes amid the fight. Just get naked and surprise him with a mixture of emotions.
This way, you will soften his outrageous outburst. Remember, he is not filled with the Holy Spirit, so do not expect him to show self-control while you are arguing.
Marriage can get complicated, and an unequally yoked marriage can get more complicated. However, accepting your partner, upholding the scriptures, and praying will help your home stand the test of time and have a happy married life. You are not alone and quitting the union is not the only option. Wishing you well!