7 Reasons He's Keeping You Around Even if He Doesn't Want a Relationship
- By: Jane
Dating in the twenty-first century can be confusing as hell. One minute you and your new beau are hitting it up, and the next minute he’s saying things like “it’s not you it’s me” and “we should take a break”. I mean, what? Yeah,some people just date one guy and meet the love of their lives, but for most of us, it can take a few tries (or guys) to find the one that cherishes just as much as we adore them.
Reason #1: You’re Too EasyI know, I know. It’s the modern world and you might be saying that women can pursue men as much as the other way around. And when you reallylike someone, it can be difficult to play hard to get.Let’s face it, men (and sometimes women) love a good challenge. Yes, but especially at the start of just getting to know each other, don’t show all your cards at once.
What to do? When you’ve just started dating or even if you have been dating around for a little while already but you haven’t had “the talk” as to where you really stand with him, perhaps you need to let him keep in his toes for a bit. If he tells you he needs some space, then give him all the space he wants and needs. This doesn’t mean that you resolve to game playing, however, but actually behard to get. God meet up with your friends. Live your life. Sometimes, it takes a little bit of distance to make him realize that he really does want to keep you around for good.
Reason #2: You’re a PlaceholderOkay, maybe he likes you, but he doesn’t like you enough to make a commitment to you. Ouch. Sounds familiar? Sure, you may be fun to talk to and actually hang out with, however, you are not his dream girl. Don’t take it personally though, as this can be due to different reasons such as you don’t have the same values and goals in life, you don’t have the same humor,or your maturity levels are so mismatched.
What to do? In these circumstances, it would be best to steer clear away from him if what you’re looking for is a serious relationship. Of course, it will hurt for a little bit, but don’t go the downward spiral of thinking you’re not worthy. You can still be friends, but don’t expect too much from him.
Reason #3: He’s Emotionally UnavailableOh dear, do you find that you keep doing all the work? You are the one who sets dates, who calls him, to check up on him without him needing to lift a finger. If this is the case, your guy might be emotionally unavailable. But again, you shouldn’t beat yourself up because he might really do like you, but it might just so happen that he just got out of a relationship.
What to do? If you see this happen again and again in your life, perhaps it’s because you are the emotionally unavailable one. You might think that you want a relationship, but you don’t This in turn makes you keep choosing guys who aren’t looking for a relationship as well. Do a bit of introspection and me-time to see if you might have your own hang-upson commitment. Perhaps it is due to unresolved trauma that you need to fix first, or maybe you believe, deep down, that you aren’t worthy of love. Whatever it is, don’t leave it neglected for much longer and get to the root of the problem.
Reason #4: He’s Not Sure Where He StandsHey, it isn’t only girls who don’t want to get their hearts broken. Guys have permission to protect their own hearts, too. Just because they are men doesn’t mean they don’t feel emotions. In this case, he might not be sure where he standswith you. Heck, he might be thinking the world of you but he’s too afraid to take the next step because he doesn’t think youwant a relationship with him.
What to do? In this scenario, you may want to help him out a little bit. Is your body language warm and open? Do you smile when you see him? Maybe you’ve been too harsh to him and he feels that you are giving him the cold shoulder. If it’s absolutely killing you, why don’t you muster up the courage to ask him? Clear the air up and erase the uncertainty, because life’s too short to standby in the sidelines when you can take it up in the reigns.
Reason #5: He’s Afraid of Ruining theFriendshipPerhaps you have a great thing going on the moment and he doesn’t want to ruin it. Especially if you started out as friends, there is probably a line that he’s afraid to cross if you two endedup not working out.
What to do? Drop hints that assure him that nothing will change and the friendship will still remain even if you two don’t work out romantically. Better yet, dine out at your favorite place and have a proper discussion like the two mature adults you both are.
Reason #6: He Wants to Take Things SlowlyYour guy might be a hopeless romantic who doesn’t want to rush into love. He might have grownup ina family where things are done in a more traditional way. Curfew before midnight? Check. Guy opens up the car door for you? Check. Not kissing on the first date? Check. These are some of the signs where he is raised up traditionally. And yes, that means not wanting to commit just yet until you both truly get to know each other better.
What to do? In this case, take things into stride as well and fill up your time with doing the things you love so you won’t be consumed with thoughts of him. That way, he also won’t feel pressured and you can both enjoy the relationship unfold more naturally between you two.
Reason #7: He’s A Plain JerkNow it’s one thing that he’s still keeping his options open, but it’s a whole different ballgame if he doesn’t have the guts to tell that to your face. Or worse, he’s been lying about his real relationship status the whole time and *gasps*, he actually has a girlfriend and he’s making you his side chick!
What to do? There is only one word to say: RUN. So,there you have it, seven reasons he’s keeping you around even if he doesn’t want a relationship. When you’ve just started dating somebody, remember to not show all your cards at once. Gauge his interest first and love yourself enough to not show all your cards at once. Keep your chin up, girl. You aren’t alone in the quest to finding real love.As someone who has also been there and done that, I’m here to tell you to not lose hope. Who knows, maybe “the one” is just around the corner, waiting for you to drop commitment phobic guys and plain jerks so that he can start sweeping you off of your feet. Besides, there are plenty of fish in the sea.