Tips to Become a Submissive Wife in a Christian Marriage
- By: Jane
According to Ephesians 5:22-24, the Lord urges wives to submit to their husbands, similarly it shows how husbands would submit to him. Their spouses are the head of their households, just like Christ is the leader of the church. Those few verses get a bad name because people interpret them as husbands being tyrants and wives being servants in their homes. It seems like the woman cannot share her thoughts or go after what she desires.
However, that is not in line with God's nature which is love. We see that through the consequent verses where he instructs the husbands to love their spouses just like Jesus Christ loved the church to the point of dying on the cross. Therefore, what does it mean to submit to your partner while honoring your role as a believer and wife?
What is a submissive wife according to the Bible?
God created an order in which the man is the head of the family. A submissive wife, therefore, depicts a wife who respects that order. That does not mean that the husband is superior to the wife; it shows that the man is in charge. A good example is where he suggests you follow a certain spiritual path as a family, and as the wife, you let him take the lead. The appropriate male leadership involves nurturing your wife to the best version of herself.
Submission is a mark of strength in a wife. That is because it can be challenging to let someone else take charge of your life or make final decisions for you. You trust your husband to do what is right for the family. It makes it easier to solve conflicts harmoniously. Please do not mistake that with the husband always having his way. The woman is meant to be a helper. That is why you have to air your opinions respectfully and offer advice and suggestions to your husband.
God's intention was for the relationship between the Church and Christ to mirror marriages or be a reference point. The union between a beloved and lover. The word asks for mutual submission from the couple. They are to submit to each other and Christ.
To most people, talking about submission is a bitter pill to swallow. Some people use the term to show that men are superior and women are therefore powerless against them. Biblically that is a wrong perception. The word honors women. In Galatians 3:28, Paul states that both women and men are one in Christ, showing that both genders are equal. In John 4, we see Jesus talking to a Samaritan lady, which was taboo in the Jewish community. That shows that women are worthy in God's eyes.
For us to understand submission, we must know that women and men have varying needs and roles. A man wants respect from his partner, and the wife requires to feel love from her spouse. That is why Paul states in Ephesians 5:33 that the men should show love and the women should give respect. Both parties have a role to play.
One thing that submission in the Bible is not is total obedience. That applies where your husband's wishes conflict with what God wants from you. A good example may be where your husband wants you to take part in a crime. That is where you submit to the Lord's guidance and put your foot down in the marriage.
Is the submissive marriage going to save the marriage?
Submission is essential in marriage. That can mean the building of a successful marriage. Submission comes with so many benefits which can bring a marriage back on its feet.
It promotes unity in the family
Both the husband and wife have different roles. When they both submit to each other and God, they will do what is best for each other. The husband will protect and provide for the family, while the wife will offer assistance.
It promotes peace and love
A man needs respect in a relationship. He then reciprocates by showing his wife affection. That, however, depends on whether both parties are on board. He will also seek the counsel of his wife in matters affecting the household.
Tips to become a submissive wife in a traditional marriage
Here are the tips to be a submissive wife in a traditional marriage.
Listen to your spouse
Sometimes he wants to share about the kind of day he had. You do not need to respond. That does not mean that you are not at liberty to say what is on your mind.
Maintain your appearance
Ensure that you always look attractive in his presence. You do not have to put on tons of make-up or a tight corset that makes you want to cry. Men are visual creatures, and you want to keep them interested.
You could invest in a gym membership to maintain your figure. That would boost your health. Note that it is a suggestion and not a death sentence.
Attend to your man's needs
That mostly involves household duties. Iron his clothes, make him lunch, or clean the house. A good scenario is where he comes home and tells you that he misses eating your delicious banana cake. What should you do? If it is possible, you could make it that same day. However, if that is not the case, you can reschedule and inform him when you can bake it for him. That goes a long way in showing him that you care.
Some men prefer homemakers. That is something you should discuss while still dating if your career is vital to you. You should also look at the man's financial capability. If he is barely making enough to keep the home afloat, that would be an unwise decision. Nowadays, housewives and stay-at-home mums get allowances for their personal needs. Communication is key here.
Allow him to be the hero in your life
Your husband wants to make you the happiest woman, so let him. That means that he takes care of things such as finances and your security.
Tips to become a submissive wife in a Christian marriage
Here are the tips to be a submissive wife in a Christian marriage.
Make your husband feel worthy or important to you
Respect is a man's love language. When it comes to decision-making, you need to give your input, but there may be times when you do not agree with him. You can choose to trust that he has the family's best interest at heart in such cases. If his plans do not work out, trust that he will make the necessary changes and only offer help when he asks for it. Avoid always trying to tell him what to do.
One good practice would be to greet him at the door when he comes home. It does not have to be regular.
Help your husband as much as you can
After all, the woman is a helper according to Genesis 2:18. That is where you need to figure out what you can do best. For example, if people can consider you a chef based on the kind of meals you make, ensure that your husband enjoys your food often, especially if he is the sole breadwinner. You want him to feel at ease when he comes home after a busy and stressful day.
Do not restrict yourself to homestead chores. You could be good at accounting and help come up with a budget for the month.
Be careful with how you instruct him
You do not want to come off as condescending or rude. The temptation to do so may be high when you are angry but resist it. Remember that he is a man; he needs respect. Sometimes the best action is to remain silent even when he is wrong.
A good example is where you are taking a drive in a new area and realize you can't find your way to your destination. In most cases, men like to figure out things on their own. He might therefore keep driving in circles instead of asking a stranger for directions. In such a situation, try and be quiet. It will avoid tension when you get to the place. Avoid nagging your man.
Show your husband that you appreciate him
It would help if you were verbal when it comes to this. Men love affirmations from their wives. It could be he got a promotion at work. Tell him that you are proud of him. You could also do nice things that you do not normally do, like bring him breakfast while he is in bed. Another thing that he would appreciate is initiating sex. Do not be shy about it.
Pray about it
Submission is tough. I would be lying if I said it comes easy to everyone. Therefore seek God's assistance as you practice the other tips.
God's desire is for the
wife and husband to complement each other and not compete. Marriage is not
meant to be a power struggle. You need not fear allowing your husband to take
charge of the family. You can try it and see how relieving it is to not be in
control all the time.