The 7 Stages of Marriage
- By: Jane
When we are in our teenage, some of us wish to get married at some point and enjoy the rest of our second part of life, which is marriage. However, most people stay in a marriage for most of their lives. Some people get married early, like in the early twenties.
Marriage has a series of stages. Are you aware of the stages of marriage? Married couples go through a series of phases while living as couples. The marriage stages are interconnected, yet they are distinct and happen differently.
It good you know what to expect to understand how to plan and master enough skills that you can employ to help each other withstand the changes quickly. Below are 7 stages of marriage that the majority of marriages go through today.
Here are the stages of marriage.
The romance phase
Ever heard of the honeymoon stage? It is the Romantic phase of marriage which is tender and romantic. The romance phase occurs after the wedding up to a few following months that may go up to two years. In this phase, the couple will experience a lot of passion, infatuation, and sexual intimacy.
The romance phase is a fragile one and very sensitive. However, this stage of marriage provides couples an environment for marital bonding.
However, this stage is not all roses because the couple will still have several differences and conflicts, but you will find them endearing.
This second stage of marriage sets in after the romance stage is over. Sometimes the shift can happen gradually, while sometimes, the changes can be sudden. The transition to the adjusting phase depends on the husband, the wife, or both.
At this stage, the couple's obsession with each other begins to lessen. Instead, the couples come back to the "real world" pulled back by responsibilities that they have to attend to like work, homemaking, taking care of children and dealing with in-laws, and getting to deal with getting familiar with each other.
The awareness reawakens you to the reality that you chose to marry someone with flaws and possibly displays characters that you don't like or questionable qualities. Such can make you start having the "what-have-i-gotten-myself-into" instances.
After being married for more than three years or so, struggles may start as each fight for their territory and builds walls for defense. In this phase of marriage, the pair realizes that they married someone with as many negatives as positives. As a result, each of them reverts to reinvent themselves while partially including their spouse.
The differences, conflicts, and regular disagreements can lead to the couples having outside affairs because the passion that once existed between the spouses turns into conflicts and frustrations.
Most couples fall apart completely and may go for a divorce at this stage.
The reassessment occurs in the late years of the first decade in marriage or the early years of the second decade. Here, the couples start to experience maturity, especially if they have children or have good people who help them stick together.
The couples recommit love to each other rather than bailing out. They look at their union’s strengths and weaknesses and make up their minds to reinvent their relationship and build their home together.
Couples growth stage
At this stage, the couples will celebrate their endurance through boredom, conflicts, and temptations and will do all they can to endure peace. At this stage, they get another chance to rediscover each other.
At this stage, the children will be old enough, and they will be going off to college, allowing the husband and wife to focus on each other.
You may try having a second honeymoon or a renewal ceremony at this stage so that you can renew your vows.
Midlife conflict stage
Women experience midlife changes while they are in their 40s and 50s (some in their 30s). At this stage, they experience emotional and biological changes.
Both parties will start to deal with a midlife crisis that affects their psychological wellbeing.
The thought of almost retiring and heading to old age can be terrifying to some people, making them overreact in the quest for remaining to be youths to continue enjoying the fun of their "best years." While doing this, they sometimes abandon their spouses and have affairs with younger people.
This stage can wreak havoc in a marriage. The couple finds themselves focusing on each other instead of paying attention to the children. In addition, dealing with all these factors and other issues that come with middle age, like losing parents, deteriorating health, and job loss can be pretty stressful in marriage.
Couples deal with regrets, confrontations, blame games, and accusations. However, strong marriages find a way to struggle through the storm while others can choose to back off and quit the union.
The fulfillment stage
After some time, the couple realizes that they chose to stick together through it all, and they are willing to be in each other’s company for the remaining years.
Some forks will look back and be thankful for being with each other through thick and thin. For other couples, they will find themselves falling in love with each other all over again, realizing that they chose to marry the best person. Finally, the duo recognizes they have the best partner that they are growing old together. At this point, no else matters but being with someone that they genuinely love more than everyone else.
Not all marriages go through all these stages or not in the same order. You may also have experiences that are not on this list. Things happen. Things change. People have different experiences that affect the way they feel about their partners.
Divorce rates are still high, although they are relatively lower than before. Knowing things to expect in marriage helps you be better equipped to respond to such circumstances and have a better chance of growing old with your spouse.
Married people need time to think about the marital phase they are experiencing and make up their minds on the steps they are willing to take. Hopefully, you will learn to appreciate your partner some more while and after through different stages of marriage.