What Are the Top 10 Goals of A Successful Marriage?
- By: Jane
Newly married, or you need to add some flavor to your marriage? Whatever reason that made you land here, you are in luck because we will give you 10 of the best marriage goals to make your marriage life successful and a happy one.
We will look at the top 10 goals of a successful marriage and other important information like how to set those marriage goals. Don't worry; the goals we recommend to be the most essential are not complicated in any way but still, many couples fail to implement them in their marriage.
Let’s get started.
What Is The Ultimate Goal Of Marriage?
The current routine of instant gratification that people have is the top cause of a wrecked marriage. Marriage has a great goal and a great purpose. Getting to know the ultimate goal of marriage will go a long way to see your marriage succeed.
In many Western nations, more than half of all marriages end up in divorce. These high numbers suggest that people do not know the marriage institution exists. Even worse, most people don’t know the ultimate goal of marriage.
Apostle Paul shared with us in the scripture the greatness of marriage. He wrote:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. That He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
"So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:25-32).
Marriage's sole purpose is to make humans love one another and the families that come from the union. Marriages are not born. They are made. Therefore, both the husband and the wife need to work to make their marriage a success.
What Is The Easiest Goal To Set For A Husband And Wife?
A husband and a wife have come from different backgrounds; they have different beliefs, values, and cultures. Therefore, meeting a stranger, establishing a friendship, marrying them, and staying married and happy together forever and ever don't come easy.
Couples need to work towards focusing on the same goals that each partner is willing to work towards. It requires sacrifice, commitment, and reassurance to make a marriage work.
Some marriage goals include family goals, financial goals, and goals that will enhance intimacy over the years. As easy as it sounds, neither of these goals is simple to achieve, and be committed to when you or your partner is not willing to work towards achieving them.
In a nutshell, whatever goal you have in mind, you should always ensure that you are committed to achieving them. Be creative with the kind of reminders that will keep pushing you to hold on to your goals in days, months, and years.
How to Set Goals in Marriage
Marriage cannot survive on autopilot like your relationship before you both finally said I do. You need to have plans and shared goals to maintain intimacy, empathy and boost your security and inner peace.
Communication determines the direction of your relationship and your spouse. Many marriages cannot arrive at their destination because of inadequate talking and listening skills. Conflicts will be there, but when you have proper communication, your marriage will survive it all.
Talk about everything and anything
Be friends with your partner to create a comfortable environment even when you are talking about complex topics. Tough conversations will make you wiser, and they will widen your horizon. Avoiding difficult conversations will do no good but ruin your marriage.
Mind your in-laws
A good relationship with your in-laws will help save your marriage a lot of conflicts. However, blending two families comes with its own share of challenges.
Your in-laws might be having unrealistic expectations about you. For instance, they may assume that you will be spending all the holidays together or that they will be popping regularly in your home when they feel like it.
Many times, such expectations are not discussed among the two of you. Be smart. Once you recognize such expectations, head them off before they come to be the new normal.
The conduct that each of you has in the house can cause great tension for a couple. Many times you may be annoyed with your spouse because he is not helping with chores, and you are the one who is constantly picking up the slack.
Chores, as trivial as they may sound, are a big deal.
Unless you want to build up issues and explode one day, normalize discussing even such problems that appear to be so small from the word go. Think of it this way, you are roommates for life, so you should put your household habits on the table.
Top 10 Goals of Marriage
Here are the top 10 goals in marriage.
Be BFFs (best friends forever)
When dating and during the early months and years in marriage, you were friends. So, you built your marriage on friendship.
Unfortunately, some couples, in fact, many couples, let the friendship fade away by being so busy and allowing arguments to kill their friendship. Over time many couples end up being strangers to each other.
Make it among your priorities to maintain the friendship between you and your spouse. Guard your friendship and do not allow issues and arguments to destroy this golden aspect that glues successful marriage.
You were dating before getting into marriage, spending time together, and having fun. That should not stop once you exchange the vows or even after spending time with your spouse for years.
Ensure that you have time together with your husband and have fun. You don't have to spend a lot to have such moments. You can walk in the park or stroll along the street at night hand in hand.
Just ensure that you make time away from the regular duties and be a couple in love. During that time, keep off any arguments. Make it a fun moment.
Get To Know Your Spouse
While dating, you were striving to know everything about your partner. Don't stop doing the same after marriage.
As busy as life gets as you age and have kids, make time to be with one another and talk. Get to know each other intimately.
Work as a Team
Do not be the “you against me” couple. Spouses should not work against each other; instead, they should work with each other.
Face everything that comes your way as a team. Learn to view all sorts of issues that you encounter in your marriage as a problem you face together, not as one person’s problem to solve.
Many issues happen and tear apart marriages because of lack of communication. The husband and the wife keep their problems to themselves and have unspoken needs, wants, and expectations.
Many people assume that the spouse should "just know," or assume what the other person is thinking, and they don't ask for clarification.
Such silence and assumptions lead to frustrations, so simply communicate with each other.
Appreciate your partner as often as you can. Make the words “good work” and “thank you” some of your most used words. You can be creative and leave an unexpected note for your partner appreciating them.
Don't get into the trap of seeing things that your spouse does as ordinary things. Keep appreciating them.
Go an Extra Mile
Have a goal of doing something extra for your husband or your wife from time to time. You can help with a chore, serve breakfast in bed, or think of anything nice that can make your spouse smile even on a bad day.
Give the Marriage Your Total Commitment
Many couples go in marriage with a 50- 50 mentality. Don’t dive 50 expecting your partner to offer the other 50.
50-50 mentality always causes trouble because you will always expect your partner to reciprocate in equal measure. You will end up keeping scores, having arguments, being bitter, and nitpicking.
You should talk if you feel that your partner is mistreating you. But when you focus on seeing your partner's effort, they will always weigh less, and you will always be disappointed.
You should both give your marriage 110% commitment and effort.
Don't Threaten With Divorce
Threatening your spouse with divorce only causes harm.
Threatening with the D-word will make your spouse feel insecure in the relationship. An insecure spouse will fear opening up and make them pull away.
Make it among your marriage goals to never threaten your relationship when having an argument.
Enjoy Your Differences
You are different, and
you come from diverse backgrounds. Don't make the differences that attracted
you to your partner be a source of disagreements after some years in marriage. Find
a way to make your differences work for your relationship.
Marriage is like a marathon; don't treat it as a sprint. To win a marathon, you need to ensure that you have a plan.