5 Reasons You Don't Want a Relationship, and Why That's Ok
- By: Jane
So everyone around you is either dating, in a relationship, engaged, or getting married. And then there’s you, single and not necessarily want to mingle. You heard us right. Deep down inside, you think you should be feeling a twang of jealousy when everyone around you is getting cuffed. However, you don’t feel like you’re missing out just one bit. Now you might think you’re being absolutely ridiculous, but don’t worry. You aren’t alone. Numerous people these days are choosing to remain single.
Don’t get us wrong, it’s common for human beings to want to be in a relationship of some kind where they feel loved, special, and supported, but it doesn’t necessarily have to come from a romantic relationship. If you’re one of those who think to themselves, “but I don’t want a relationship!” then read on below to find out 5 reason why this might be the case and why it’s perfectly A-Okay.
Reason #1: You’re Not Ready to Be in a Relationship
There’s a saying that advocates that you have to love yourself first before you’re able to love someone else. In a way, this is absolutely true. let’s say for example, you don’t exercise, eat well, get good sleep, take care of your finances, or groom well, It’s hard to have self-respect if you don’t do these things for yourself. It’s even more so undesirable in a mate. Relationships are about building a life with another person. And if you can’t get a hold of your life, it will be highly improbable that you can help out another with theirs.
Not to worry though, there’s no rush to be in a relationship. Contrary to popular belief, timelines are arbitrary and there’s no punishment for being single. Sure, you might feel left out for a while, but if you’re taking your time as a single person to grow up and mature, then the right person will come along at the right time.
Reason #2: You Still Have Unresolved Feelings for Your Ex
Dating someone is all about getting to know the other person fully. And if you’re still hurt about a past relationship, then it would be wise to steer clear of dating a different person for a while. It’s perfectly okay to still have feelings for your ex, especially if you’ve been together for a long time and you just broke up.
However, the problem is when you bring the baggage to your potentially new relationship. No one wants to be a second option, and certainly not a rebound. If you’re still hung up on what’s been and gone, you need to work through that first before diving into another. Remember the three month rule? Yeah, do us and everyone else a favor and stick to it.
Reason #3: You’re Always Looking for the Next Best Thing
Sure, you have standards. Like anyone else, you want to be in a relationship with the most compatible person for you. However, if you’ve started dating someone and you keep looking elsewhere, you won’t be able to really get to know him or her. Since life is imperfect, we should know that there’s always going to be someone better looking, funnier, and more ambitious than your partner. It’s safe to say that there’s also going to be someone better on paper than you, too. For this reason, cut some slack and try to be with one person at a time. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.
If this is you, don’t worry about it. The important thing is you become self-aware of your own tendencies. Also try to reflect and think whether the deeper reason behind always looking for the next best thing is because you’re afraid of commitment. In your mind, there’s always someone better around the corner and so you bail at the first signs of inconvenience. How can you be in a relationship when you’re always looking for something new?
Reason #4: You’re Dealing With a Major Life Change
It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything else in your life is running smoothly. However, we all know that life isn’t perfect and there will always be times when life gets extra hard. Perhaps you’re dealing with health issues and you don’t want to burden someone else with that. Maybe you’re starting a new career and you’re still building a solid footing and you want to focus on that. These reasons are all valid for not wanting to be in a relationship right now.
If your work requires you to travel a lot, perhaps you feel like being in a relationship will hold you back. Long-distance relationships are difficult to sustain, after all. The beginning of a relationship is pretty crucial too, as it serves as the foundation for a long-lasting union. If you or your potential significant other has to travel for work heavily for the next six months, then it would be wise to hold back a bit and date when you’re physically closer to each other.
Reason #5: You’re Already In One
Need we say more? This reason is pretty self-explanatory. If you’re already in a committed relationship, kudos to you. Stay faithful, and don’t go looking for new romantic relationships elsewhere. Timing is especially a key for great relationships to happen. If you happen to find someone interesting but you’re already hitched, don’t act on impulse and keep your commitment to your current partner.
See through to the end of the relationship before even entertaining the thought of another. Sure, it’s okay to be attracted to another person that isn’t your partner. We’re all human beings after all, and it’s only natural to do so. Just make sure to not do anything bad about it.
Whatever your reason is for not wanting to be in a relationship, remember that it’s perfectly okay. Just because everybody else seems to be in one doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for you at the moment. It’s best when these things come naturally and not forced, anyway. Sometimes life opens us up to pleasant surprises, after all.