Are You in a Complicated Relationship? How To Deal With It
- By: Jane
Relationships are perfect when both partners are true to each other. This relates to the picture of outstanding pillow talks and Netflix night movies. However, there is a phase in a good relationship where the lovebirds cannot share their feelings and sink themselves in a life full of lies and issues.
Such a stage in a relationship is what is phrased as being complicated. Have you ever been in such a moment with the love of your life? Are you in a complicated relationship? Well, this may be tough for you to answer.
The article promises to outline some of the signs of a complicated relationship alongside the different ways on how to beat it. Keep reading for insightful tips on how to make things work with your partner.
What is a complicated relationship?
“Complicated" is a popular buzzword for most relationships nowadays. Individuals do not want a long-term commitment. And prefer not to be clear about their feelings to their partners. You might find someone who still hooks up with their ex-lover.
A complicated relationship is a type of relationship where love partners skip the rules of dating and courtship. Individuals in this affair primarily satisfy each other sexually but are not committed to the relationship. They only want to be friends or friends with benefits and nothing serious.
We shall take a look at some of the different types of complicated relationships.
Types of a complicated relationship
Complicated relationships are of different types. Here are some of the well-known kinds of complicated relationships.
Type #1: Friends with benefits
Friends with benefits type of relationship is a common casual practice in most colleges. Individuals tend to have intimacy behaviour, with no feelings for each other. You might have come across these words, 'no strings attached.'
This type of relationship might make you look cool. But, it is a risky game for both of the partners. This is because one of the partners might develop feelings for the other friend along the way. You might want more from your friend.
Eventually, one of you might get into a new relationship, and once that happens, heartbreaks and bitterness might drag your friendship down with it.
Type #2: The secret lover
Secret relationships might tend to keep your personal relationship low-key. However, it comes along with bad things. This type of complicated relationship is mainly practised by individuals whose families have issues with interracial engagements. The secret lover relationship is not quite pleasing and might be unfair to both parties.
Type #3: The married type of crush
This type of relationship mostly affects married couples. You will find that your wife or husband has a crush on another person who happens to be your lover's friend. Some may manage the crush, which may tend to elapse after a while. However, to most individuals, it might be not easy to control it.
It may lead to having affairs behind your lover’s back. This is totally a risky game that you need to stay far away from it. It would crash your marriage and your lover’s friendship.
Type #4: Fake personality
Every start of a relationship comprises treats and favours to impress the other party. This is understandable since first impressions need to be amazing. You might find yourself agreeing to everything said, not to offend your potential boyfriend or girlfriend.
But pretending to be someone you are not is a dangerous fire. It is not a required ingredient for a long-term relationship. Fake love and impressions will only last a relationship for a short while. Plus, it will be unfair to lure your partner that you have common interests, yet everything is a show.
Type #5: Crush on a best friend
Have you ever had a crush on your best friend? If so, did you approach him or her and risked your friendship by expressing your feelings wholeheartedly? Or, did you avoid any turn-downs? Neither of the answers is delightful. However, you might be lucky if your friend has the same feelings towards you.
Type #6: Relationship that comes with comfort
Most individuals might have a fear of being alone. This type of fear drives you to approach someone you are comfortable with, to have sexual intimacy. You do not really have chemistry with this person—no shared love, rather than a convenient type of relationship.
Top signs you are in a complicated relationship
It might not be simple to know if you are in a complicated type of relationship. Several signs might help you do that.
Sign #1: No definitions
Today’s relationships fail to denounce their labels. You may find partners lacking clear definitions of where they stand. You might not find ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ titles like the olden days where partners followed a dating timeline.
Although there is the presence of a physical bond, you might find yourself on the wrong page when things turn out ill.
Sign #2: No public display of affection (PDA)
In complicated relationships, it is quite rare to find any PDAs. Aka, public displays of affection are a popular topic when it comes to relationships. It involves showing love affection to your lover publicly. Does your lover hold your hand or peck you when in the city streets? If not, you might be in a complicated relationship. Or, let us say your lover is just a shy person.
When your partner ignores you when around people is a sign, you are in an unhealthy relationship. Such behaviour might tend to ruin your self-esteem and confidence.
Sign #3: The intimacy started as a rebound
Love becomes complicated when it begins in an unclear way. Did your first intimacy with your partner start as a rebound? If your answer is yes, then this tells you that your partner has many things to handle.
It enables you to deal with mixed emotions lagging from previous relationships. Do not allow someone to use you as a symbol for getting rid of their past broken hearts.
Sign #4: Secrets
Secrets are part of our lives. However, a relationship full of secrets fits to be a complicated one. One or both of the parties might be hiding something from coming into light. Have you ever come across a relationship drama of a husband being married to someone else? This is common for most unhealthy relationships.
The guilty partner might employ tactics that keep his unknown marriage status a secret. Remember that honesty is the best policy. You need to comply with this principle to have a happy and healthy relationship.
Sign #5: Exes topic
We all have our past lives. When your new partner tends to bring topics concerning their exes, they are not fully over them. I know our exes might have tremendously broken our hearts into pieces, but why bother your new partner with matters concerning your ex?
Frequent discussions about our exes are a clear sign of a complicated relationship.
Sign #6: No future tale
Healthy relationships have visions of their present besides their future. If you and your partner have never had such future talks, then you might be in a complicated relationship. You certainly have no plans of spending time together soon.
If your partner does not discuss your dream life, family, and children, I am afraid to say that your intimacy may happen to have an expiration date.
Sign #7: Unbalanced feelings
Feelings mould a relationship. If you do not have sure feelings towards your partner, you may be involved in a complicated relationship. Most healthy relationships come with an outstanding sense of certainty.
How to deal with a complicated relationship
A happy life needs a healthy relationship. To move out of a complicated relationship, there are several ways you might attempt. Go through the methods below.
Assess the problem
Unless you know the issue, you cannot find an ultimate solution for your complicated situation. You might think of talking through with your partner and discuss the root problems of the relationship.
This will grant the best time to assess possible solutions that might work. For instance, if the problem is long distance, you might decide on frequent visits, maybe twice a week. Or call off the relationship if it will not work for both of you.
Communication is key
Misunderstandings in relationships come along from poor communication. If you cannot open up to your close partner, how could you expect ends to meet? Perhaps you need to put your ego game down a bit and engage in realistic communication with your lover.
An honest relationship enables you to pinpoint your partner's flaws effectively. It will help in correcting the behaviour that you might find disturbing. If you are the one in the wrong, figure something useful that will solve your relationship.
Sometimes you might want to keep your relationship a secret. However, the two of you cannot unfold all peculiar activities in the relationship. It would be best to look for a third party who will help discover some issues you had not noticed before.
Portray actions of love
Do you have true love feelings towards your partner? You might re-assess the reasons why you love your boyfriend or girlfriend. If the feelings exist, you might think of progressing on to the next level. Otherwise, you might alert your partner about the fading love.
Breaks work magically in relationships. Sometimes you might need space from your partner. It helps in strengthening your feelings. You might develop firm feelings when you take a break from your partner.
Complicated relationships are natural. They help you grow and learn a lot about intimacy affairs. They, however, may cause mental breakdowns if you are not careful.
You can get out of a complicated relationship by applying several ways. One of the key methods is to ensure effective communication to know your stand. I hope you find the article useful on how to enhance healthy bonds.